Expressive Constipation

In the modern world, humans truly have a fickle nature. Fully consumed and sadly manipulated by the random statistics we’ve created. “People don’t read my stuff.”, “Nobody responded to my post.”, “I didn’t get one share.” – are all bullshit excuses to not be expressive. There is no need to get stuck like this, but it seems like a trap that us humans have set for ourselves. In fact, here’s another one…

I CAN’T SEEM TO FINISH ANYTHING LATELY.

Sorry about yelling there, but I just needed to get that off my chest. I have spent weeks writing about (what seems like) a million different topics and haven’t completed one piece. Each place I go to write has been unique and interesting, but after a while it’s as if the light in my brain goes out. It doesn’t seem to matter where I am writing at all.

When it comes to not completing projects in my life, I’m no rookie. This doesn’t make me feel guilty, that’s always been a result of me not applying myself. I know this is not the case in my current situation, this is something different. This has forced me to look inward at my position. I have kept losing myself in the words I write and that’s never been my style. The pieces I love to share are the ones where I’ve found myself.

Shit, that’s it! – “The pieces I love to share are the ones where I’ve found myself.” …so… where the hell am I? Clearly I can’t do this without ME being here, that’s how all of this works. Now that I look back on some of the things I’ve written lately, they’re all just flaccid and drab. It’s as if I’ve been writing for someone other than myself.

Writing (for me) is about channeling from a place between my heart and intuition. It’s inspired by my senses and my experiences. It’s about my physical output, my musk and my balls. Maybe that’s arrogant to say, but they’re MY words. In fact, it’s about damn time I put all of that in writing. Step aside brain, you’re in my way.

It is not that I don’t want to be able to use my brain. Of course I have to use it. However, that does not mean what I doubt mentally has to be in control of me physically. Clearly it’s taken me a long time to get this figured out and obsessing about it from here on, will only be a waste. Life is too damn short for that.

I feel like this struggle I’ve been going through is inevitable now and again, but completely conquerable. When I think about it, life is a succession of conquests. None are identical, but all are important in defining my sense of self. My brain is there to process information, not to control how I feel about it. Well look at that…HERE I AM…and damn it feels good.

Expression is the process of making known one’s thoughts or feelings. Most of us don’t choose to do so, it simply comes natural to us. Whatever we encounter throughout our lives will determine how we express ourselves, but nothing should ever stay in the way of what we’re truly feeling. We will always experience ups and downs because that’s life. However, our outlook is something that’s only in our control.

If we’re ever not feeling like ourselves, we don’t need to be afraid to say it. The world relates to us because we are the ones who put our expressions out there in a shareable format. Being blocked isn’t something to shy away from, it’s something to breakthrough. Our pride is only our demise in situations like this. We must ask for help when we’re struggling to help ourselves and be grateful by listening to those who are willing to offer it. It’s in that moment when we can finally get out of our own way and back on an enlightened path.

Now let’s go eat some lunch…

TUNA FISH SANDWICHES FOR EVERYONE!

Mmmm.

Mmmm.

 -Scotty J.-

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Written by ScottyJ


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